Last week we kicked off our new series on voice lessons talking about how we should be speaking to ourselves. We have to be sure that what we are saying agrees with what God says about us. The way we do that is by meditating on the word of God so we can use it to replace those negative thoughts from our past that the enemy brings up. Today as we continue our series on voice lessons, we’re gonna learn about how we should be speaking to others. And that includes both our christian brothers and sisters as well as unbelievers. So let’s kick things off by looking at why we need to be careful about what we say to others. Ephesians 4:29-30 “29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” Did you see it? We need to watch what we say, so we don’t grieve the Holy Spirit. How do you grieve the Holy Spirit who’s living in you? We do it by saying things that don’t edify others in a time when they need it most. If we don’t want to grieve the Holy Spirit, we need to be speaking with grace in order to edify others.
To edify means: to instruct or improve someone morally or intellectually. So basically this passage is saying that we are to be teaching others with grace in the moment when it’s needed. An example of not doing that and grieving the Holy Spirit is to just say “I told you so” when someone makes a mistake you had already warned them about. The exact opposite of speaking with grace for the purpose of edification would be to curse someone. Now, I’m not talking about cussing someone out, although that would definitely be the opposite of gracious, edifying speech. In the book of Numbers we read about a prophet named Balaam who was hired to curse Israel. You probably remember Balaam as the guy who’s donkey spoke to him. This is the story of what led up to that event. We read about it in Numbers 22, 23 and 24. You should read that entire story, but for today, I’m gonna pull out some of the verses of chapter 22 and give you the cliff notes. Numbers 22:1-3 “Then the sons of Israel journeyed, and camped in the plains of Moab beyond the Jordan opposite Jericho. 2 Now Balak the son of Zippor saw all that Israel had done to the Amorites. 3 So Moab was in great fear because of the people, for they were numerous; and Moab was in dread of the sons of Israel. Balak, the king of Moab was afraid of Israel because he had heard what they had done to other kingdoms as they traveled through their territory. And now they were in his territory, so he sent word to Balaam the prophet and said.
6 Now, therefore, please come, curse this people for me since they are too mighty for me; perhaps I may be able to defeat them and drive them out of the land. For I know that he whom you bless is blessed, and he whom you curse is cursed.” Balak sent money along with his request. Balaam responded by asking them to stay the night so he could inquire of the Lord about the situation. 9 Then God came to Balaam and said, “Who are these men with you?” 10 Balaam said to God, “Balak the son of Zippor, king of Moab, has sent word to me, 11 ‘Behold, there is a people who came out of Egypt and they cover the surface of the land; now come, curse them for me; perhaps I may be able to fight against them and drive them out.’” 12 God said to Balaam, “Do not go with them; you shall not curse the people, for they are blessed.” And that should have been the end of the story. God said don’t go and don’t curse Israel because He had blessed them. But Balak didn’t give up. He sent more distinguished men to ask again. And this time he upped his offer. He said to Balaam. 17 for I will indeed honor you richly, and I will do whatever you say to me. Please come then, curse this people for me.’” 18 Balaam replied to the servants of Balak, “Though Balak were to give me his house full of silver and gold, I could not do anything, either small or great, contrary to the command of the Lord my God. Balaam is walking a fine line between doing what God has already said not to, but wanting the money that he was offered to do it. So, this is where he starts to go off course. He goes back to the Lord and asks again and God tests him.
20 God came to Balaam at night and said to him, “If the men have come to call you, rise up and go with them; but only the word which I speak to you shall you do.” God told Balaam he could go with them, but only under this one condition...if they came to call him in the morning. But Balaam didn’t wait. 21 So Balaam arose in the morning, and saddled his donkey and went with the leaders of Moab. God knew Balaam’s heart and that he just wanted the money that Balak offered...You see, not everyone who has a word from God in their mouth has the love of God in their heart. And so, this is what happened. 22 But God was angry because he was going, and the angel of the Lord took his stand in the way as an adversary against him. Now he was riding on his donkey and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way with his drawn sword in his hand, the donkey turned off from the way and went into the field; but Balaam struck the donkey to turn her back into the way. 24 Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path of the vineyards, with a wall on this side and a wall on that side. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she pressed herself to the wall and pressed Balaam’s foot against the wall, so he struck her again. 26 The angel of the Lord went further, and stood in a narrow place where there was no way to turn to the right hand or the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam; so Balaam was angry and struck the donkey with his stick. 28 And the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she
said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?” Now I don’t know about you, but if one of my dogs all of a sudden started talking to me, I’be kind of freaked out. I think I’d reevaluate the situation I found myself in at that point. But Balaam apparently didn’t. He goes ahead and strikes up a real conversation with an animal...just like Eve in the garden. 29 Then Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have made a mockery of me! If there had been a sword in my hand, I would have killed you by now.” 30 The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey on which you have ridden all your life to this day? Have I ever been accustomed to do so to you?” And he said, “No.” Yep, Balaam and his donkey are now carrying on a full conversation. Well, actually it’s an argument...and the donkey is winning. 31 Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way with his drawn sword in his hand; and he bowed all the way to the ground. 32 The angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out as an adversary, because your way was contrary to me. 33 But the donkey saw me and turned aside from me these three times. If she had not turned aside from me, I would surely have killed you just now, and let her live.” As it turns out, the donkey is right and Balaam has made God angry for wanting the money more than just doing what God said to do.
34 Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned, for I did not know that you were standing in the way against me. Now then, if it is displeasing to you, I will turn back.” 35 But the angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but you shall speak only the word which I tell you.” So Balaam went along with the leaders of Balak. Balaam had agreed to speak only what God told him about Israel. Now the rest of the story in the following chapters is that Balak took Balaam to three different locations and asked him to curse Israel. But because Balaam said he would only speak what God told him to speak, he ended up blessing Israel instead of cursing them, not once but three times. When God has told us to speak blessings over people, that’s what we should do. Look at what Peter says. 1 Peter 3:8-10 “8 To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; 9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. 10 For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days, Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.” These verses are teaching us how to act when we are dealing with believers. It assumes you may run into some Christian family members who do something evil to you or insult you. But the passage is clear as to how we are to respond. We are to return to them a blessing.
Just like God instructed Balaam to bless Israel when he had been paid to curse them, God expects us to bless those who insult us. That can be hard, but this is why we have to do it. Proverbs 15:1A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. You can always defuse a tense situation with a gentle answer. This is the first step to being a peacemaker. And the reality is that sometimes you can find yourself in a situation where you shouldn’t say anything at all. I was in a church leadership meeting once where some folks had basically decided to take over control of the church from the pastor. That, of course ended in a mess and the church dissolved fairy shortly after they took over. But the thing I remember most about that situation was talking to the pastor many years later and he told me that he had so much to say to them, but he wasn’t able to form the words. God had literally shut his mouth and didn’t allow him to defend himself. More than likely he would have ended up saying some things he would regret and have to apologize for later. He was ready to tear into them verbally. When he told me how he wasn’t able to speak, I said “God still shuts the mouths of lions.” Just like when Daniel was in the lions den and God shut the lion’s mouth, sometimes we Christians act like lions and want to tear each other apart with our words, so the Holy Spirit has to shut our mouths too.
Has God ever had to keep u quiet when u wanted to say something to somebody that would have felt good a the moment, but would have made your situation or relationship with your brother in Christ worse? Jesus provided the best example of this when we read from Isaiah 53:7 “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, So He did not open His mouth.” When God does allow us to speak, these next verses give us guidance as to what we should be saying. Ephesians 5:15 “15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;” When the days are evil...and I’d say that is a really good description of what things are like right now, the wise and best response to a brother is with scripture. And the way to do that is to be filled with the Spirit. This verse is normally used to preach against alcohol, but the context is that Paul is saying you can’t be in control of your speech if you are drunk. He calls that dissipation, which just means wasting your time or life. If you’re going to be full of something, it should be the Spirit, not wine.
Now let’s shift our focus for a few minutes and look at how we are to speak to unbelievers. Too often we see christians fighting with unbelievers over their conduct. This is a big problem. Because I don’t see anywhere in the Bible where Jesus told us to argue our way into the gospel presentation. Actually, I’m pretty sure He said the exact opposite. We are supposed to be full of love and grace forward unbelievers. Why would we ever expect an unbeliever to act like a Christian, since they don’t have the Holy Spirit living in them and guiding their thoughts and actions? Colossians 4:5-6 “5 Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. 6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” Why does he say our speech to outsiders should be seasoned with salt? We need to understand what salt does to food. Salt enhances the flavor of food and makes it taste better. It doesn’t change the flavor it just makes it taste even more like itself. In this verse, Paul is saying that we should be even more gracious when talking to unbelievers because we’ve “salted” our speech with grace. Gracious is what we are supposed to already be, so we are to enhance that grace when interacting with unbelievers. How are you doing with your speech to others? Are you using your words to graciously edify your Christian brothers and sisters, or is an “I told you so” always waiting as your first response to their situation?
Are your words to unbelievers salty, or seasoned just right? Are you ready to bless them? Are you able to recognize the times and situations when you shouldn’t say anything at all?
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